Disability: Finding a balance

This article ran in the Arizona City Independent/Edition on October 16, 2002. Since then, our feline family has changed completely. We continue to cherish fond memories of Ray Lee, Baxter, and all the kitty-kids that have brought so much love into our lives.


　

While I was mulling over how to introduce this article series, something happened that symbolizes exactly what I want to say about living with a disability. For the first time, my ‘fur-son,’ Ray Lee, who was born in 1991, couldn't jump onto the cedar chest next to the table where I often sit to watch TV.

Knowing he likes to sleep in the window behind the chest or step up to my table and spread himself across my newspaper, I picked him up and set him on the chest. He gratefully managed the next step onto the table, where he draped himself over a sack full of fabric, providing both cushion and the lovely crinkle of plastic.

I knew this day would come. Besides his advanced age, for half his life Ray Lee has had arthritis that began in his feet. He also sleeps a lot more than he used to, something you only notice if you’re really paying attention.

In spite of his growing disability, Ray Lee doesn't feel sorry for himself, as some humans do. We've always had at least one younger ‘sibling’ to keep our older felines energized. That role now belongs to our 2 1/2 year-old ‘fur-daughter,’ Baxter, who loves to hunt and fight.

Since Baxter joined the family in late 2000, Ray Lee has tolerated her exuberance, even when she teases and taunts him. She often runs straight at him, leaping over him at the last second. Or she walks up and bats him across the head then runs away to fight another day.

For his part, Ray Lee has taught his little ‘sister’ how to nose-kiss, and he occasionally joins her in an exciting race from one end of the house to the other. He's not altogether invalid, in spite of being an octogenarian in cat years.

The upshot of this little tale occurred a few hours later. I feared I’d have to help him up to the chest from then on, but the next time he couldn't jump up, I stood up to help him and he scampered around my chair and hopped onto the seat, a little over three inches lower than the chest. From there he made it to the table on his own. He knew what he wanted and figured out how to get it himself, in spite of his disability.

This precious cat, with his natural feline sense of independence even as he relies so much on me, symbolizes the spirit of most people with disabilities. We hate to be dependent, but sometimes we have no choice. At other times we just need to figure out how to get the job done a different way. While I stand ready to help Ray Lee when he needs it, I let him do what he can for himself so he can maintain his self-esteem.

This is exactly what people with disabilities want. We don't need to be swaddled in cotton wool, protected from every one of life's bumps and bruises; we do not want to be patronized, treated as if we can't make a decision for ourselves; and we cannot survive without someone who loves us enough to provide help when we need it. Like every human being, a person with a disability thrives in a perfectly balanced relationship of interdependence.

That balance is tricky. Where disability is concerned, people often go to extremes, for good or ill. Either they do too much or too little. Most people choose to do nothing at all, avoiding any contact with anyone with a disability.



Cats and other animals love you

even when you have a disability.

(Obama Cat and Ditto in ‘Conference’)

In future articles, I'll discuss what people with various disabilities need to be productive citizens. Like Ray Lee, we might need help, but we also want to be useful. Ray Lee did that for me by being his lovable, cuddly self.

　

　
 WEB EMAIL WORKING AGAIN - SORT OF: A few weeks ago, I was finally able to switch my website and email service to debbie@imaginetheworldatpeace.com to a new host. I still have to update them. We’re working on a long ‘Life List,’ but that task is moving up the agenda fast. I’ll keep you up-to-date here and on Facebook and Twitter. Thanks so much for all your love and patience.



　
The World I Imagine: A creative manual for ending poverty and building peace and my historical mystery novel, Lion’s Pride, are available through your local bookstore. They are featured at Amazon.com, Barnes & Noble, and most online bookstores around the world. Both are available for Kindle readers.
　
COMMENTS: The purpose of this blog is to share positive ideas for making changes that will help everyone, not just a narrow group of people. I’d love to hear more ideas for imprinting positive effects over a wide range of areas in our society.
  

 

Friday Peace Vigil, Youngstown, OH, and surrounding area:

PEACE VIGIL
YOUNGSTOWN, OH
Friday, June 17, 2011
4:30 p.m. to 5:30 p.m.
Elm St. and Madison Ave. (near YSU)

Ray Nakley (330-506-1999) and Ron Dull (330-518-9881) will hold their weekly Peace Vigil this Friday, June 17, from 4:30 p.m. to 5:30 p.m., at Elm St. and Madison Ave. (near YSU), Youngstown, OH. They invite anyone who is interested in showing their support for ending conflict in the world to join them. Hold out positive thoughts for that!

This week:

Recently, I’ve been going through what turned out to be a traumatic struggle to be able to continue the correct treatment for one of my medical conditions. Sadly, my experience is not unique. It’s also not the only such fight I’ve had to wage in the decades I’ve been dealing with chronic illnesses. The scariest thing is that problems like this will continue to occur as long as corporations continue to have the power to make decisions that put profit ahead of patient needs. I’m not quite ready to finish writing the report I feel compelled to share in order to educate people about what’s going on. When I’ve reached the end of this particular battle, I’ll try to put it all together as a first-person report. Watch this space. I hope I can get to that step soon!

Meanwhile, let’s all send out our most positive thoughts and, for those who are believers, prayers to support and benefit all those suffering in so many parts of the world!

And the winner is: Barack Obama Cat Jordan

Resting comfortably in the pictures from top to bottom are: Barack Obama Cat Jordan, Punkin Cat Jordan, and Ditto Cat Jordan.

I originally wrote this column in November 2008, when all the relevant facts were brand new. In the ensuing year and a half, we've had so much fun being a three-cat family again, after several years of being owned by only one, then two fur-babies, that I decided it was a good idea to update the details and introduce a growing circle of internet friends to our resident "fur-politician" and his "cabinet." Here's the story of how our current felines joined the family:

On Tuesday, November 4, 2008, a momentous election was held, and the winner, who is both black and white, is named Obama. I’m not talking about the historic election that swept the first biracial person into the highest office in the land. I’m talking about the informal straw poll that was taken in our backyard. The victor in that contest was a beautiful black-and-white tuxedo cat officially dubbed Barack Obama, in honor of the nation’s president-elect (at that moment).

The oldest member of our brood joined us in spring 2006. Six weeks after our beloved 15-year-old, Ray Lee, passed into the next plane, we went to the local shelter and connected with a huge long-haired black cat named Ditto, who proceeded to relish in the joy of an only cat for most of that year. Ditto was so spoiled that when we gave dinner to strays on the veranda--actually bowls of cat food on the concrete outside our back door--Ditto was not amused.

Sometime during the winter of 2006-7, a lively orange cat became a regular at the al fresco table. A cursory equipment check and a scrawny physique (the result of malnutrition) led us to believe the visitor was a girl. A vet later disabused us of that notion, and "she" underwent a psychological gender reassignment, becoming an official "he."

Despite Ditto’s objections, by summer 2007 we named the new cat Punkin and encouraged him to come inside often for respite from the desert sun, hiding him carefully when we could so he'd be safe from Ditto's wrath. When we left Arizona City for Casa Grande, Punkin made it clear that he had to come too, and he became a full-time member of the family from that evening on. For the next year, these two continued to "discuss" territorial issues in our new house, often with far more drama than necessary.

With their own version of homeland security, Ditto and Punkin chased away any animal that intruded into their new backyard. The most frequent scofflaws were a dark-gray cat that is almost Ditto’s size and the little tuxedo cat, who was not much more than a kitten in those days. The day before the 2008 presidential election, a neighbor asked us if the tuxedo was ours after he’d sneaked into their house, in spite of their dogs. At that time, I found him to be a featherweight. But we were sure our cats still wouldn’t accept him, so he was released with instructions to go home, wherever that was.

On Tuesday, November 4, 2008, Jim went to bed around 9:30 p.m. knowing the nation would soon have a leader with a Harvard law degree, but a small cry in the backyard led him to come out and lead me to the back door. When we opened it, this scrawny black-and-white cat sauntered in--smiling as broadly as a kitty can and followed by our two furry bouncers. Despite the fact that Ditto and Punkin can barely stand to be near each other, together they happily informed us that this new cat could stay.

So, it was official. Barack Obama received 100% of our popular and electoral votes. Our home is his domain, and we are his lackeys. If I open a can of cat food, our resident-elect is all ready to dig into the biggest bowl.

After a month of enjoying a regular diet and plenty of warm places to sleep, Obama had gained over two pounds--one-third of his previous body weight. His "gentleman’s equipment" (as Craig Ferguson is wont to say) is history, so there’ll be no little Baracks, but with good care and plenty of love, he has nothing to complain about.

Like his namesake, our Obama has brought peace and hope to warring factions. Despite their earlier animosity, Ditto and Punkin now tolerate each other--most of the time--and they’re absolutely gaga over their new little brother. Both of them will rub noses with him and even allow him to sniff their tails on occasion.

Obama brings vitality to the corps. When he says it’s time to play, somebody must join in the game. He loves string, and if nothing else, he can get a rise out of Punkin by taking a running leap over his brother’s orange head.

Like his brothers, Obama is extremely affectionate with mom and dad, and he quickly learned to relax and enjoy plenty of nap time, just like the other two. So, after several years of being a one- or two-cat household, we’re officially owned by three cats again. It's been over a decade since we’ve had that many cats. We can't imagine life without them. One or two should be enough, but somehow, they multiply--though they've all been "fixed." I don't know how, but it keeps happening that way.

And here’s a treat: Our cats are now on video. They’re the stars of the top three videos you’ll find listed on my YouTube page at:

http://www.youtube.com/results?search_type=&search_query=1lady4peace&aq=f

On Inauguration Day, all three fur-babies joined me to watch the human Barack Obama and Joe Biden take the helm and bring calm and vitality to our ailing nation. And since that day, we've all kept a close eye on their progress, to make sure everything continues to go as well as it can, considering the opposition that has been pitted against them.

Just as important, we know the rest of us have work to do as well. That’s the lesson we hope Americans finally understand. We can’t just depend on our elected officials to do everything for us, nor can we allow anyone to push legislation that serves small groups of people and harms the many. We must take responsibility ourselves, for ourselves and everyone else. It’s time to get on with it. There’s work to be done. That's why I'm writing this Peace Blog, my books, and everything else. We are the people; we are the government; we are members of society, of the human race, and that carries with it a responsibility--whether we like it or not. We have to start caring not just for ourselves and possibly just our closest kin and friends, but for everybody. That's how a world should work. That's how the world will work!

SAD UPDATE: On a hot day in August of 2011, Ditto developed a serious respiratory infection. Barely hours later, he died in the loving arms of his favorite ‘kitty-pediatrician.’

Comforted by the fact that his suffering was brief, we cherish the idea that if there is a heaven, Ditto will among the many feline-children whose love we,ve enjoyed over many decades. He’ll be the huge black kitty resting quietly in his favorite hidey-hole, waiting for chin bumps and several long minutes of comfy lap snuggles.


　
　
WEB EMAIL STILL INACTIVE: One issue still on my To-Do list is to bring my website email back to life. Now that we're nearing the end of our long Spring agenda, I should be able to tackle the issue by early June. When that miracle occurs, I will definitely post the Good News here. More reason to keep in touch. Hope and Love to all!

　
The World I Imagine: A creative manual for ending poverty and building peace and my historical mystery novel, Lion’s Pride, are available through your local bookstore. They are featured at Amazon.com, Barnes & Noble, and most online bookstores around the world. Both are available for Kindle readers.

　 COMMENTS: The purpose of this blog is to share positive ideas for making changes that will help everyone, not just a narrow group of people. I’d love to hear more ideas for imprinting positive effects over a wide range of areas in our society.