Disability: Finding a balance

This article ran in the Arizona City Independent/Edition on October 16, 2002. Since then, our feline family has changed completely. We continue to cherish fond memories of Ray Lee, Baxter, and all the kitty-kids that have brought so much love into our lives.


　

While I was mulling over how to introduce this article series, something happened that symbolizes exactly what I want to say about living with a disability. For the first time, my ‘fur-son,’ Ray Lee, who was born in 1991, couldn't jump onto the cedar chest next to the table where I often sit to watch TV.

Knowing he likes to sleep in the window behind the chest or step up to my table and spread himself across my newspaper, I picked him up and set him on the chest. He gratefully managed the next step onto the table, where he draped himself over a sack full of fabric, providing both cushion and the lovely crinkle of plastic.

I knew this day would come. Besides his advanced age, for half his life Ray Lee has had arthritis that began in his feet. He also sleeps a lot more than he used to, something you only notice if you’re really paying attention.

In spite of his growing disability, Ray Lee doesn't feel sorry for himself, as some humans do. We've always had at least one younger ‘sibling’ to keep our older felines energized. That role now belongs to our 2 1/2 year-old ‘fur-daughter,’ Baxter, who loves to hunt and fight.

Since Baxter joined the family in late 2000, Ray Lee has tolerated her exuberance, even when she teases and taunts him. She often runs straight at him, leaping over him at the last second. Or she walks up and bats him across the head then runs away to fight another day.

For his part, Ray Lee has taught his little ‘sister’ how to nose-kiss, and he occasionally joins her in an exciting race from one end of the house to the other. He's not altogether invalid, in spite of being an octogenarian in cat years.

The upshot of this little tale occurred a few hours later. I feared I’d have to help him up to the chest from then on, but the next time he couldn't jump up, I stood up to help him and he scampered around my chair and hopped onto the seat, a little over three inches lower than the chest. From there he made it to the table on his own. He knew what he wanted and figured out how to get it himself, in spite of his disability.

This precious cat, with his natural feline sense of independence even as he relies so much on me, symbolizes the spirit of most people with disabilities. We hate to be dependent, but sometimes we have no choice. At other times we just need to figure out how to get the job done a different way. While I stand ready to help Ray Lee when he needs it, I let him do what he can for himself so he can maintain his self-esteem.

This is exactly what people with disabilities want. We don't need to be swaddled in cotton wool, protected from every one of life's bumps and bruises; we do not want to be patronized, treated as if we can't make a decision for ourselves; and we cannot survive without someone who loves us enough to provide help when we need it. Like every human being, a person with a disability thrives in a perfectly balanced relationship of interdependence.

That balance is tricky. Where disability is concerned, people often go to extremes, for good or ill. Either they do too much or too little. Most people choose to do nothing at all, avoiding any contact with anyone with a disability.



Cats and other animals love you

even when you have a disability.

(Obama Cat and Ditto in ‘Conference’)

In future articles, I'll discuss what people with various disabilities need to be productive citizens. Like Ray Lee, we might need help, but we also want to be useful. Ray Lee did that for me by being his lovable, cuddly self.

　

　
 WEB EMAIL WORKING AGAIN - SORT OF: A few weeks ago, I was finally able to switch my website and email service to debbie@imaginetheworldatpeace.com to a new host. I still have to update them. We’re working on a long ‘Life List,’ but that task is moving up the agenda fast. I’ll keep you up-to-date here and on Facebook and Twitter. Thanks so much for all your love and patience.



　
The World I Imagine: A creative manual for ending poverty and building peace and my historical mystery novel, Lion’s Pride, are available through your local bookstore. They are featured at Amazon.com, Barnes & Noble, and most online bookstores around the world. Both are available for Kindle readers.
　
COMMENTS: The purpose of this blog is to share positive ideas for making changes that will help everyone, not just a narrow group of people. I’d love to hear more ideas for imprinting positive effects over a wide range of areas in our society.
  

 

Protesting Campaign Calls: It won’t stop the Madness but it helps me feel better

Hallelujah, it’s Primary Season, followed never-soon-enough by the General Election. Let the Celebrations begin!

Those euphemistically described festivities consist mainly of campaign phone calls.

Millions of them.

At least it seems like that.

We’ve received up to three calls per day most of the past three weeks, all for Republican candidates. Trouble is, we’re registered Democrats. It’s a question of timing.

If you vote in your state primary, you know if you declare for one of the two main parties, at this stage you vote for your party’s candidates. Early calls from the opposition are wasted. That’s why the escalating call pattern led us to suspect the Graying Old Party’s got a strategy going here. We call it our ‘Great Election Conspiracy Theory.’

All but one of the calls are recorded. We can’t tell them what we think of their campaign. We just have to hang up for relief - usually! The pattern developed this way:

Step 1) The calls begin, three per day, all for one candidate.

Step 2) A week into the process, primary ballots go out to people on the Permanent Early Voting List. As usual, we complete and return our ballots within two days.

Step 3) The calls, still for the same candidate, stop registering on Caller ID. We let most go to the answering machine. If the call continues on the machine, we pick up, hit ‘Off’ and ... blessed silence.

Step 4) One evening a call goes to the machine. I pick up, hit off - the recorded voice drones on ... and on and on and - I call Jim. We meet at the base station. The machine still spews. We marvel at the genius of the latest technology. (Not!) Jim finally unplugs the phone base from the wall, plugs it back in ... aaah, peace reigns once again in the Jordan household.

After that miserable escapade, I sit down at my computer to compose the following email:

　
To Whom It May Concern:
If anyone in the Republican party actually believes that the current policy of harassing Democratic voters via the telephone will actually convince anyone to vote for GOP candidates, you'd better make sure long-term mental health services are firmly included in your medical coverage. If we weren't already determined to cast a vote in every single election for every Democratic candidate we can possibly support, this abusive Republican policy would do the trick!
This evening, the latest RWNJ Dirty Trick finally forced me to ask the telephone company for complete instructions in how to block these disruptive calls. In the next few days, we'll be implementing this tool and sharing it with as many people as we can.

Thank you for reassuring us that we've been going in the right direction for the past 35 years, even if the rest of the country wasn't quite there yet! And if you're curious about the details of our latest experience with your abusive campaign calls, I'll be posting reports on my blog in the next few days and sending the link out to our numerous Twitter and Facebook friends!
In peace,
Debbie Jordan
imaginetheworldatpeace.com


I send the missive to the Arizona Republican and Democratic Parties. I copy Jim. Everybody knows the score.

Step 5) On each of the next two evenings, we receive only one recorded call inviting us to participate in a political poll. As soon as I hear those words, I hang up.

Step 6) Saturday morning a young man calls to invite me to answer questions for "a political research survey." I tell him I’m not interested and hang up.

Step 7) Since Sunday, we receive different numbers of calls each day, all recordings, all register on Caller ID, each for a different candidate, none for the subject of the earliest calls.

And so it goes.

I don’t know whether my email rant helped. I do feel better since I hit send.

Stay Blue, everyone. Vote for Fairness and Equality in your Primary and, especially, on November 4!

 

Believe it or not, I heard a few of the good ideas in this

book from pre-1980 Republicans. Pity they aren’t in

office today. I hope their successors will one day lead

a party that is again Grand instead of Grotesque.

WEB EMAIL WORKING AGAIN - SORT OF: A few weeks ago, I was finally able to switch my website and email service to debbie@imaginetheworldatpeace.com to a new host. I still have to update them. We’re working on a long ‘Life List,’ but that task is moving up the agenda fast. I’ll keep you up-to-date here and on Facebook and Twitter. Thanks so much for all your love and patience.


　
The World I Imagine: A creative manual for ending poverty and building peace and my historical mystery novel, Lion’s Pride, are available through your local bookstore. They are featured at Amazon.com, Barnes & Noble, and most online bookstores around the world. Both are available for Kindle readers.
　
COMMENTS: The purpose of this blog is to share positive ideas for making changes that will help everyone, not just a narrow group of people. I’d love to hear more ideas for imprinting positive effects over a wide range of areas in our society.